AKUHLUKWANWE UMA SELUPHELILE UTHANDO
UMSAKAZO kumele ukuthinte uma uwulalele. Ngisho kanje ngoba kade ngilalele Ukhozi FM, uhlelo lukaDudu ‘Lady D’ Khoza oluthi Jabul’ Ujule, ngizwa ingosi ethi-Teatime lapho kukhulunywa ngesihloko sabantu abahlala ndawonye noma ababa sebudlelwaneni bezothando ngokwenyama kodwa ngokomphefumulo noma ngokomoya uthole ukuthi kade bahlukana kodwa kabatshenani.
Kuphakathi kokuthi omunye usekhona ebudlelwaneni kodwa omunye akasekho noma bobabili abasekho kubo kodwa basahlezi ngezizathu ezithile.
Engikuqaphelile nje ukuthi ngabesifazane abaphawule bayiningi kulo hlelo. Kunomama nje othe yena usehlalele izingane. Abaningi babeke izici kubayeni babo, ezifana notshwala, ukungathembeki, ukugembula kanye nokwenza izikweletu ezenza kungaphileki ekhaya nesimo singabi mnandi.
Ukhona owesilisa oyedwa ongenile yena okhale ngokungahloniphi komuntu wesifazane athandana naye, usehlezi nje ‘kulento’.
Ngabe lezi zinto akuzo yini ezidala ukuba abantu bebulalane ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Uhlala kanjani nomuntu ozwayo ukuthi akusemnandi ukuhlala naye futhi uqhubeka kanjani nokubiza leyonto ngobudlelwano?
Noma uhlelo bekuzwakala sengathi kugxilwe kwabathandanayo abahlala ndawonye noma abashadile kodwa bekuyisihloko esivulelekile kubo bonke abasebudlelwaneni.
Kungenzeka yini ukuthi amasiko nezinto abayalwa ngazo abesifazane mabephuma emakhaya ikhona okwenza behlale nabesilisa ngisho sebezwa ukuthi kabasabathandi? Omunye umuntu wesifazane uze ancamele ukuphumela ngaphandle agange (ajole) yize engamshiyile lo ahlezi naye. Esikhundleni sokuthi aphumele obala asho kwaziwe ukuthi akajabule ngezizathu eziwukuthi bese kubonakala ukuthi kuyalungiseka yini akhalaza ngakho noma kuhlukwane ngezindlela uma isimo sesingaphezu kwamandla.
Ngike ngibone ezinkundleni zokuxhumana abantu benza uteku ngokuthi kunabantu abahlala ebudlelwaneni ngoba budumile, sebesaba ihlazo lokuthi bazophoxeka uma bephuma kubo. Abanye bahlala ebudlelwaneni ngenxa yokuthi benzela ukuba sezingeni elithile lempilo, kakhulu uma umuntu kumphilisa impilo ewubukhazikhazi – ngakho ukuphuma kulobo budlelwane (osebufile) buzombuyisela emuva empilweni futhi ahlekwe.
Kunochwepheshe wezobudlelwano nongumeluleki obekhuluma ohlelweni othe into elimaza kakhulu ubudlelwano babantu nedala ukuthi abantu behlukane ngokomoya ukuthi abaxoxi ngezinto ezibakhathazayo, kuthi noma sebexoxa uthole ukuthi omunye akazithatheli phezulu izikhalo zomunye noma okuphakanyiswa omunye. Uthole ukuthi omunye umlingani ngokomqondo ufana nosehlulekile ukuba umlingani kulobudlelwano ngoba okukhathaza yena akuthathelwa phezulu futhi akulalelwa.
Konke okungaholela ekutheni abantu bethi bethandana kodwa uthole ukuthi ngokomphefumulo abasathandani, ikhambi ukuthi kuxoxiswane futhi kuhlukwane ngokuthula bese kuhlelwa ukuthi izingane zizoba isima kanjani kunoma yini engahlelwa ilaba abambuluzelanayo othandweni kakhulu uma sekucaca ukuthi seluphelile.
Isixazululo esikhulu sazo zonke izinkinga ezidaleka ebudlelwaneni kwabantu ababili asebephelelwe uthando ababenalo ekuqaleni ukuthi behlukane ngokuthula. Kanti akuhlukwanwa ngani uma seluphelile uthando?
*Ungaxhumana nomhleli kuleli kheli le-email: editor.umkhaya@gmail.com noma ku-Whatsapp [0795239786]